"When Helping Hurts"

So, I have been reading a lot this summer already…surprise surprise! On my way down to New Orleans I read “To Kill a Mockingbird.” What a fun read after all of my text books from school! Now, however, I have begun to read school type books again. One of the books that I am currently reading is titled, “When Helping Hurts.” This book is about how to alleviate poverty without hurting the poor, or yourself. I have learned a lot and been challenged a lot by the information in this book. One thing that has particularly set heavy on my heart is about the broken relationship that we have with ourselves, with God, with others, and with all of creation, because of the fall.

This book has challenged me because I feel that so many times in my life I have tried to help through immediate giving without helping someone to fix the root of the problem, which is the brokenness that we have in the four relationships that I have listed above. Also, I have realized that the brokenness in those four relationships have affected my life as well. I am broken too. For instance, why do I really want to help the poor? What truly motivates me? Do I want to serve them because I love them, or is their some other motive living inside of my heart? I have realized, like the author realized, “that part of me is motivated to help the poor because of my felt need to to accomplish something worthwhile in my life, to be a person of significance, to feel like I have pursued a noble cause…to be a bit like God.” It makes me feel good to use my training from OCC to help people in crisis. And, like the author: “ in the process, I sometimes reduce poor people to objects that I use to fulfill my own need to accomplish something. It is a very ugly truth, and it pains me to admit it, but “when I want to do good, evil is right there with me” (Rom. 7:21).”

So what do you do? What do I do? Well, I am searching and praying that God gives me a pure heart every day. That I never boast in myself, but only in Him. That even with the law of sin at work within my being, that God can use me to accomplish His mission, the growing of His Kingdom. In my mind I am a slave to God’s law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin (Rom. 7:25). Even though this sounds depressing, and it is somewhat, I cannot forget to account for the work that Jesus Christ did on the cross to save me from this sinful flesh. For, while this war is going on between my flesh and my spirit, I am confident that in the end, God wins. Life through the Spirit is one of fullness, of joy, of boldness. Like professor Bowland told me in school, we see in chapter seven of Romans that just because we are Christians, we are not free from sin, however, we are freed from sins determitave power. My professor also told me that in the very next chapter of Romans (ch. 8), we see that life through the Spirit is a life that cannot be killed. In his words, “Chapter 8 begins with no condemnation, ends with no separation, and in the middle, no defeat.” These words comfort me as I struggle. I know that my struggle is healthy, that it means that I am continuing to grow and this is why I have such a problem with my sinful nature. I know that God is powerful enough to not only save me from myself, but to use me, despite the fact that I have not yet been made perfect, and won’t be made perfect until I die or until he comes back again.

I guess that the author of When Helping Hurts is right when he says that, “The fall really happened, and it is wreaking havoc in all of our lives. We are all broken, just in different ways.” However, I also believe that the author of Romans is right when He says, “What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God-through Jesus Christ our Lord!” (Romans 7:24-25)

And this is the hope that I cling to as I continue to help the poor in New Orleans. What a wretched woman I truly am. When I try to do good, I realize that evil is right there with me. But that just gives me all the more reason to serve the One True God…to praise and glorify Him with my life…for He has already rescued me from sins determitive power, and one day, He will rescue me from this body of death as well.